Monthly Archives: August 2010

Garlicky Stuffed Portobellos

Today, a brief and culinary pause in the Erica/Dave wedding story–but be back tomorrow for all the pictures of the bride getting dressed. All very decent, I assure you.

I recently experienced a cooking failure making stuffed portobellos. I oversalted them, and there was wa-ay too much garlic–can you believe it? I never thought I’d use the phrase “too much garlic”, but considering I woke myself up at 2am due to my own overpowering garlic breath, it seems appropriate. These are the culprits:

They look so innocent . . . even delicious. But you’ll have to take my word for it: they were not.

“If you don’t succeed, try, try again” I whispered to myself as I walked to the El to catch the train to work. “If you don’t succeed, try, try again,” I murmured as I transferred to the Belmont bus. “If you don’t succeed . . .”–but you get the idea.

After all this self-motivation business, I dug in and determined to give it another try. I sat before my computer screen and fantasized about taking a bite of the fabulous, meaty mushroom that we’ve all come to love: what flavors did I want in my mouth? Garlic, definitely . . . a little wine . . . some mozzarella . . . something meaty, something red . . . and thus this recipe was born. I typed it up and tested it on my parents when they popped down to Chicago for a visit. I bring you the results. You will love them.

Ingredients

(Serves 4)

5 Portobello mushrooms, wiped clean

1 TBS olive oil

2 cloves garlic, minced

3 pre-cooked bratwursts, chopped

3-4 slices fresh mozzarella, torn

1 roasted red pepper, torn

5 TBS white wine

10 tsp heavy cream

5 dashes salt

5 dashes black pepper

First I should explain–I used 5 mushrooms, but put “serves 4” because there’s always someone who wants a little more. Technically though, you could do 1 mushroom per person. That is, if you’re a mushroom miser.

Let’s begin: heat the oven to 400 degrees.

Remove the stems from the Portobellos, chop the stems, and set them aside. Chop your brats as well. I found these brats next to the hot dogs–they’re precooked, which saves some time. And they’re reeeaal good.

Lay the Portobello caps on a baking sheet, rounded side down. Mix the olive oil and minced garlic, spread it over the portobellos with a pastry brush, and sprinkle them with a little salt and pepper.

Pour 1 TBS wine and 2 tsp cream in each mushroom cap.

Heat a pan over medium-high and add the chopped bratwursts and chopped mushroom stems. Cook 7-8 minutes or until browned. They will start out looking pale and sickly:

. . . but with my dad’s tender care . . .

. . . they browned quite nicely. Good job, Dad.

Now let’s grab the fun stuff:

Tear the mozzarella slices and roasted red pepper, and lay the pieces in each mushroom.

Top with the bratwurst/mushroom stem mixture.

Put the whole shebang in your 400 degree oven for 12 minutes, then serve ’em up. Mmmm . . .

Serve with Tangy Lemon Spinach (recipe coming soon) and white rice.

Lessons learned from initial failure and subsequent success:

  1. Do not oversalt. Do not oversalt. You can always add salt, but once it’s in there it’s too late. Record yourself saying this on a looped track and play it as you sleep for maximum absorption.
  2. Experimentation will not always result in astounding success.
  3. Experimentation will inevitably result in astounding success when white wine and cream are involved.

Click here for printer-friendly version: Garlicky Stuffed Portobellos

The Wedding, Part 4: The Rehearsal

For “The Wedding Part 1,” click here. For “The Wedding Part 2,” click here. For “The Wedding Part 3,” click here. For “The Wedding Part 5,” click here. For “The Wedding Part 6,” click here. For “The Wedding Part 7,” click here.

It’s Friday July 23rd, the day before the wedding. It’s about 5pm. Dave, the groom, has just entered the church. His brother Andrew is flanking him and . . . I mean, come on, how often do you expect me to point out his little “staring down the camera” shenanigans? His overwhelming consistency is really quite amazing, considering these pictures span 3 days of flurried activity. You’d think with his brother getting married there would be other things on his mind, and yet as soon as my camera popped out, the death stare was brought out at the blink of an eye. I don’t know whether to commend him or punch him. Any views on the matter?

After a long day of decorating and making emergency bathing suit purchasing runs, finally, we all headed to the chapel area. It was time to get these proceedings a-crackin’.

The “a-crackin'” involved a lot of standing around at first. We stood around in the foyer area . . .

. . . and we stood around in the chapel, too.

But I wasn’t complaining–it was a great opportunity to take another 5,000 pictures.

And snuggle a little with my sweetie.

Among those 5,000 pictures there were cute shots of Erica and her friends Dani and Rowenna, Erica and her new in-laws, Erica hamming it up with Dad, Erica looking adoringly at her soon-to-be husband . . . Erica, Erica, Erica. Man, she was getting all the attention. If she weren’t the bride, I might have had to intervene with some older-sister attention-recovering tactics the likes of which I haven’t had to resort to since I was 10 and Erica was in a movie.

Erica was just glowing.

After the green photo that I posted yesterday of Wendy, Erica’s new mother-in-law, I hope to redeem myself today by showing how cute she looked. Dang.

In fact, both mothers were looking wonderful.

Mom and I posed, and a disembodied hand came to rest on my head.

I love this shot of Howard (Erica’s new father-in-law) and Nicole, his daughter:

And here’s a good one of Rowenna, one of the bridesmaids, and her husband Randy:

My husband and Randy spent some time bonding, doubtless over something academic. Don’t they look thoughtful?

Brilliant things were said, I’m sure–just brilliant. Good job with the whole PhD thing, you two. It makes me proud.

Heidi was wearing these fabulous shoes. If they had been 1 size larger, I would have ripped them off her feet and run from the wedding shouting in victory. Heidi, you’ll never know what a close call that was.

Here are Heidi and The Bun with Mike . . .

Here, they appear to be plotting something sinister. I wasn’t cool enough for them to let me in on the plan, though.

We managed to snag the bride for a little 3 sisters shot:

Dave worked on finalizing a few things with the minister. Here, he was saying “So, just don’t forget the whole ‘kiss the bride’ part, OK? I really want to get to the ‘kiss the bride’ part. In fact, could we work a ‘kiss the bride’ into both the beginning and the end of the ceremony? Whaddya think?”

The minister was having none of it. “Get out of here, you love-obsessed crazy boy!” he screamed. And that was the end of the rehearsal.

Heh heh, gotcha, didn’t I? No, seriously, the wedding went off with only one “kiss the bride”, though how prolonged it was and how “French” it was I shall not discuss. At all.

The crowds were beginning to get impatient, so a stand-in bouquet was shoved into Erica’s unwilling hand.

I love these pictures of Erica and Dave entering the chapel and walking down the aisle. Everything about it screams “this is right.”

I mean, do you see the expressions on their faces? It’s something to behold. Pure, God-sent love.

The rehearsal was officially under way. We practiced walking. I haven’t thought that much about putting one foot in front of the other since I learned how to walk.

Dad was getting a little emotional walking Erica down.

I cried about 4 times more during the rehearsal than I did during the wedding. I knew the small and kindly gathering of empathetic relatives at the rehearsal wouldn’t mind if my nose became the color of a Santa suit and inflated to twice its regular size.

As the snot poured down my nasal passages, I realized this was it: Erica was really getting married.

The parents practiced coming up front for the prayer:

They practiced the foot-washing . . .

And Andrew . . . oh, Andrew. Check him out between the pastor and Dave.

Can you believe this guy!? Erica and Dave, if you want a good copy of this picture I can eliminate him via Photoshop. I’m thinking a little “Gaussian Blur” layer mask will take care of those relentless, staring eyes.

Here’s Mary Beth, looking beautiful . . . it’s good to know I can count on her to look good. Mary Beth, I hope you never break my trust.

Back to Heidi:

After running through the ceremony twice, we were all starving. Thankfully, the little wedding gnomes had laid out a beautiful spread in the cafe area of the church.

I love it when the wedding gnomes just show up and take care of things.

During the dinner, Erica and Dave presented the wedding party with gifts: ties for the guys, and pearls for the girls. It rhymes!

And I have to say, what a great meal–rice, asparagus, pork, salad, punch–mmmmmm.

The Wedding Part 5 forthcoming–Friday at the latest. Or the earliest. I haven’t made up my mind how efficient I want to be. But let me tell you–it’s the ones in which the bride dons her gear, and you don’t want to miss ’em.