September | 2010 | Jenna's Everything Blog

My new brother-in-law Dave has turned the tables. Some of you may recall my baby-making instigation right before their wedding in which I urged the general public to push Dave and Erica towards multiplying and filling the earth.

About a week later I was calmly riding the bus on a hot Sunday when my cell phone buzzed. My sisters are pretty much the only sources of texts on my phone, so I was surprised to see an unfamiliar number. Curious, I opened it, not knowing the torrent I was about to tap into.

I relay to you the content; “D” is each new text from Dave:

D: Hi jenna its dave, erica and I have exciting news-we’re going to have another little nephew or niece! SO EXCITED! So get crackalackin! We await the good news!

Side note: I was very confused here, since our sister Heidi is indeed pregnant, but nobody else in either family is. I didn’t realize at the time that he was using what is called “assumptive language” in the sales industry. Talk like it’s going to happen, and chances are much higher that it will.

Me: Heidi is having twins??? And you two had better get “crackalacking” yourselves in 1 week!

D: Little hands and little feet-so cute. The world needs your progeny.

D: Tiny baby curls . . .

Me: Are you trying to brainwash me?

D: Teeny little shoes

Me: Stop! Stop! I know exactly what you’re up to Dave!

D: Itty bitty feeties

D: PINCHABLE CHEEKS!

D: Aaaaaaaaand . . . GO!!

Me: Thankfully my hubby is out of town this weekend. By the time he returns tuesday this brainwashing session will have lost its effect . . .

D: Maybe you’ll start getting random baby catalogs in the mail…just sayin

Me: What!?!? You little manipulator!!

D: Yeah. We are prepared to fight dirty.

D: Imagine tiny fingers wrapped around your man’s pinky…

D: How precious would that be?

D: Teeny tiny itty bitty scrunched up noses …

D: Little noses scrunched up right before a little sneeze …

Judge for yourselves, but Dave does indeed fight dirty. Who can withstand the onslaught of imagery in these texts? Powerful stuff, man.

Later that evening I started telling the story to a friend at church. I pulled out my phone and showed her the long line of texts from the same number. I meant it to be funny, but instead of laughing as I expected to do, suddenly I started crying as the image of tiny fingers curled around my husband’s pinky took hold. With the threat of a lagoon of mascara, I grabbed a tissue and tried to pad away any black streaks.

Dave made me cry. And he almost made me really mess up my make-up.

This all means something–but what??

About a week later, I got a follow up text that just said:

D: *achoo*

Then about a month went by. I thought he had probably forgotten about our little battle. But don’t let the innocent looks of this young couple fool you.

They’re just not to be trusted. My 5 year wedding anniversary rolled around, and whaddya know–my phone went “ka-bling.” I had a new text.

D: Happy anniversary! Just think, sweet little baby toes, soft baby ringlets, and a sweet baby voice chirping happily and cooing . . .

3 hours went by. My phone went “ka-bling” again.

D: . . . Little one all snoozy and snuggly warm in footie pajamas, wrapping his baby arms around your neck and nuzzling his precious face into your shoulder . . .

D: Are you ignoring me??

Me: Um…yeah! That’s what my mom told me to do with bullies!

D: Hey!! I’m your sister!

Me: Using Dave’s phone, eh?

D: Yes. I have no coverage with mine and his job doesn’t allow them.

Me: Was it ever Dave sending these, or was it you all along?

D: Him til today.

So there you go, folks. My sister has been revealed to be a manipulating baby-instigator as well. Dave, I’m sorry, I thought you were the only one fighting dirty. But it turns out you have corrupted Erica via being married to her, turning my own flesh and blood against me. I knew there was going to be trouble the moment that whippersnapper was born. I was completely justified in the suspicion you can see written all over my 2-year-old face.

You just wait Dave and Erica, because I have plans. Plans to, um . . . to um . . .

I mean, aren’t babies just the cutest thing? And aren’t young families just precious??

. . . but let’s stay focused here people.

I’d also like to mention that after reading my Blokus post in which I confessed to being a competitive game-player, Erica told me that Dave has decided to challenge me to all sorts of board and card games and take me down. Dave, this blog was not designed to give you the keys to my demise. But I am realizing that I may have unwittingly given them to you anyway. Thinking I was simply sharing my heart, I was actually revealing my Achilles heel to a man who apparently must win at everything, be it baby-instigating wars or game-playing tournaments. I’m starting to be afraid. Very afraid. Erica, who did you marry? And why must he win all the time?? I should have known he was a punk the minute this picture crossed my email account:

If Dave beats me at Dutch Blitz, I will be forced to retreat to a hermit’s cave and suck on my toes for the next 5 years. And lemme tell you, my husband wouldn’t appreciate that one bit, and would shortly become malnourished based on his exclusive diet of ham sandwiches, apples, and carrots. Do you want to be responsible for that, Dave? Huh?

OK (breathing slowly). Let’s make peace, Dave.

But I will completely smash you at Dutch Blitz.

This was our recipe of choice for Family Vacay 2010, and the photographs below were taken during that marvelous week. My husband and I were in charge of feeding a dozen people Thursday night, and this dish was the obvious pick. It’s an adapted version of a dish served at Yat’s, a Cajun restaurant in Bloomington. This recipe makes such a large pot that there were ample leftovers the next day–I estimate the batch we made would have fed about 16 people; the recipe below is for 8-10 so that you don’t have Etouffée coming out of your ears. Before you start cutting down the recipe even more though, please consider this: it’s so amazing that even if you’re just feeding 2 or 3, you can freeze the rest and thus ensure that when the craving hits you again (and it will hit you hard) it is immediately on hand.

This is probably the most delicious recipe on this blog to date. The Mush is really good . . . the caramelized salmon is also superb . . . but this recipe is crowd-friendly and I guarantee everyone will love it. Unless they’re lactose and gluten intolerant, in which case you need to make a separate little stirfry for them.

Poor Luke. I hope he doesn’t know what he’s missing.

This recipe is so good that:

1. My 14-year-old cousin Brianna adored it. She normally only eats Chicken Noodle Soup and string cheese, so this is saying a lot.

2. Both my sister Heidi and I had this dish served at our weddings. Yup.

Before we jump in, let’s get in the mood for a hot stew-like concoction by examining pictures of the rainy day on the lake.

I deserted any pretense of subtlety and electrified the blue in this water using a fun tool in Photoshop: “Selective Color.” If you own Photoshop but haven’t used it, get with the plan, Stan.

Mmmm, I’m getting hungrier by the minute.

One more explanation and then I promise we’ll get to the good stuff. The step-by-step pictures. You see, I had just changed my lens to my zoom lens in order to capture the raindrops on the lake from a safe distance. Then I came back to the main house to cook. If you remember the post about our lodgings during Family Vacay 2010 (click here to read), you’ll recall that I was staying in a separate smaller cabin, where my other lens was housed. And I was not going back out into the rain to change that lens, golldarnheckanannywhillikins. Therefore, all these pictures were taken with a zoom lens that required me to be very far away from the pot I was attempting to photograph, which proved to be quite awkward. Do I regret my choice? If I say yes, my Mom might say “I told you so,” so I’ll stick by it. But that’s why the pictures are a little . . . a little not so awesome. But the food was!

Now that I’ve got you on board with how amazing this is going to be, let’s begin. There is a long list of ingredients, but most of that list is just composed of spices, plus you really just toss everything into a pot anyway. It’s not difficult—please trust me. To prove this I will walk you through it step by step.

Ingredients

(Serves 8-10)

1 1/2 sticks butter

3/4 cups flour

1 bunch chopped green onions

2 stalks celery

1 large onion

1 red bell pepper

1 green bell pepper (I added a yellow one too)

6 cloves garlic

1-14.5 oz can diced tomatoes

½ tsp dried thyme

1 TBS tomato paste

1 tsp dried basil

1/2 tsp black pepper

1/4 tsp white pepper

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

1 tsp chili powder

Pinch ground coriander

Pinch ground cumin

Pinch ground cloves

Dash Worcestershire sauceDash Tabasco sauce

1/4 c dry sherry

3 cups chicken stock

3 cups shredded aged cheddar

8 oz heavy whipping cream

4 chicken breasts

Cooked white rice, to serve

First, chop all your stuff: the celery, peppers, onions, and garlic. You can chop up your chicken now as well if you feel like it, though it doesn’t go in until the end.

Shred your aged cheddar–please make the extra investment and buy some good quality aged cheddar, because this is a key flavor and I promise it will make a big difference.

Melt the butter in a large, large pot. When it’s melted, add the flour. Don’t be like me and take a hideous blurry picture because you’re too lazy to change your lens.

Stir over medium heat to create what’s called a roux. Keep it cooking until it gets to be a golden brown and releases a nutty scent. This took me about 10 minutes. Check out the change in color from the pale yellow above to the rich golden hue below:

Add the chopped green onions, onion, garlic, bell peppers, and celery.

And we’re done! Doesn’t it look appetizing?

Just kidding! Cook those veggies about 6 minutes, until softened.

Add the tomato paste and all the spices. Cook for another few minutes, stirring to combine.

Add the can of diced tomatoes. Cook for another few minutes.

Add the Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, dry sherry, and chicken stock.

Bring ‘er to a boil, then lower the heat and let it simmer for a good 30 minutes. It should thicken a good bit–that’s the magic of the roux happening.