While leafing through the family photo albums my Mom so generously left at my house for an undetermined amount of time, I was able to put 10 fears to rest that have been lurking in the back of my mind regarding mothering and pregnancy. I thought I’d share them with you today, so that you can see how I’ve managed to overcome them one by one.
1. I’m too young to have that kind of responsibility
Well, my dad was practically a minor. Just look at him:
OK, he was actually 28 or 29, but seriously folks–does he look a day over 16?
2. My house will become overrun with child paraphenalia
Not necessary! I slept in a cardboard box.
I was bathed in a trash can.
I guess I don’t need a ton of stuff for my future babies–I mean, they don’t even know the difference between their fingers and their toes, much less between a fancy bathing apparatus and a brown trash can. My parents kept their house very free from self-multiplying plastic objects, and I find that inspiring and relieving. Phew!
3. My schedule will be chained to the sleep schedule of my child
My parents simply put us to bed wherever we happened to be. Like at a concert. Hey, they were musicians, and we had to adapt.
There’s my Dad running the mixing board. I think this was in Japan, and I’m looking a little spaced out. Apparently they kept a blanket by the mixing board, and when it was my bedtime simply put me down on the blanket where I peacefully entered dreamland. Children are more adaptable than I would have imagined–and they can adapt to me as much as I can adapt to them.
4. My house will become an uncontrollable mess
Well, if I follow my Mom’s philosophy I will simply put my children to work. I mean, all day long I worked the family’s farm . . .
. . . and then I got home, tied my tresses up in a bandanna, and got ready to give the house a good shake down. My Mom didn’t take any excuses–here she is saying “Alright Jenna, don’t come back until all the curtains are laundered and pressed!”
She didn’t even care that I had just laundered and pressed them, like, two days ago!
While the house was my responsibility, the birth of my sister Erica fulfilled the vacancy for groundskeeper and chauffeur.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah Dad–just take the dang picture and let me finish washing the car.”
I’m so glad to know that I too can simply train my children to do all my work for me, while I sit on the couch issuing orders, drinking coffee and nibbling on scones.
5. I will become frumpy and hideous
This picture of my Mom was taken when I was almost 2 years old.
Yes, my Mom is a classy broad. Here she is again with her two sisters (she’s on the left), around the same time:
That classy lady second from the left is my grandmother:
I have inherited genes that indicate frumpyness may not be in the cards for me. Or if it is, my extended family will whip me into shape so as not to disgrace their name. I have historical evidence for this claim: Aunt Jessie was put on frump alert many years ago, and was immediately forced to the nearest beauty salon to fix the issue.
She tried to resist, but she was no match for her determined mother, the one wielding the cane. It’s nice to know that I have the kind of family who stamps out frumpery and beautifies you even against your own will.
6. If I have daughters, they will steal my shoes and clothes at the earliest opportunity
OK, well, that may happen. But nobody seems particularly upset about the arrangement, as I see it.
7. It’s so hard to travel with children that we will never go anywhere
Well, here are my parents in San Francisco . . .
. . . and in New York City . . .
. . . and my Mom in Japan, with me in the stroller and Erica on the way.
These are just a few pictures of the many I could have included showing them in places like Florida and Niagara Falls, with small children in tow. Being in a band, travel was part of their life menu. And if they could do it, dang it, so can I!
8. My children will yell and scream
Well, my childhood pictures prove that it’s possible to have a 100% fuss-free kid. I am always smiling, always cheerful, with a surprising maturity for my young years. My good attitude from birth forward created a very peaceful home environment.
Yes, I was a perfect child and I expect no less from my future children. Calm, wise beyond their years, and zero whining.
Hey wait! How did that picture sneak in there!
Someone’s gonna get fired over that slip-up.
9. Once you have them, they’re with you all the time
If I choose to follow my parents’ example, I can simple pack my child up (with packing peanuts for safety–don’t worry) and ship them off to the nearest baby store, Attn: Returns Department.
As long as you print off your certified baby return label, it should be easy as pie. Then, when you feel like having that baby again, you simply go to the pick-up counter and retrieve him or her. Couldn’t be more simple.
10. Baby stress will cause untold marital tension
My Dad once said that having kids has provided them with the funniest moments in their life. They have never laughed together more than over one of us and our ridiculousness. Instead of driving them apart, raising us three girls has brought them closer.
Thanks, Mom and Dad, for doing such a great job and providing a solid photographic record that I can return to for inspiration, encouragement, and ideas.
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Now it’s time to talk about the one fear I haven’t been able to shake or disprove. It’s something I’m really having a hard time even thinking about. It may be the source of regret, frustration, and physical discomforts untold:
The fear of not being able to sleep on my stomach.
I mean, I’ve been doing it practically since I was born.
And I don’t think there’s any way of getting around it . . . unless I buy a special mattress with a hole in it. I just have to decide if this final concern is a ‘make it or break it’ moment in our child-bearing plans. Wish me luck as I try to make a wise choice.
View Comments (42)
these are such beautiful pictures, I especially love the picture of you with the packing peanuts. You're so lucky to have a book full of such great memories.
I absolutely love ALL of this :) What a great post!!
I'm glad that your sister came along and took over the grounds keeping. You seem to have had your hands full with the housework!
This is so cute! I love the babies in the boxes -- Dave was not the only baby put in a box! FYI I slept on my stomach until about the last couple of months. The key is multiple pillows and a careful balancing act.
What great pictures!! What I learned, is that there are a million and one things to worry about before having children, and when you actually have them, it's really not that bad! You just go with the flow, do what YOU feel is right, and most of all, just ENJOY your time with them! The most important thing to a child is the love and attention of their parents. All that fancy baby stuff is NOT necessary!
LOL! I love how you pulled these photos together with a theme (overcoming your fears)--just fantastic! So funny! I was laughing out loud as soon as I saw that cardboard box! ahahahahahaha!
So great! You're a wonderfully witty writer and had me cracking up. Have a great Wednesday!
Thanks Sydney! Glad I could provide you with some laughs. Have a great Wednesday as well.
Wonderful! You always make me laugh!!
Now as your mother, I cannot resist:
Topic 1: Yes, even when I met him, I thought he was 16, and then discovered he was already through grad school and a year older than I!!
Topic 2: Not only is all the baby paraphernalia NOT a requirement, neither is the perfect humongoid house--your first bed was on the dresser inside the walk-in closet of a one-bedrrom apartment. As for the baths, they WERE normally in the tub where you could play, but when diaper rash hit, a quick little "bottom bath" was the ticket in those great wasteabaskets that we still have and use!!
Topic 3: Yep, you indeed slept through concerts... bedtime was 7pm (just about when Sandi Patti started singing for 3500 (?) students at KC83, and I set up your little bed next to the mixer where you slept ... like a baby!)), and until you hit Jr High, you slept 12 hours a night!
Topic 4: Ah yes, you did such a great job on those drapes!! Doing REAL jobs with REAL stuff with Dad is always so much more fun than those fakes toys...
Topic 5: Frumpiness is not in the Menn gene pool! Sorry girls, you are naturally and nurturally destined to be classy whether by default, choice, or imposition!! And there is the whole 3rd floor (and more!) in Norwalk from which to choose your anti-frumpiness weapons!!
Topic 6: ...hmmmm!! It seems you have given TO ME more clothes than I have given you!! BTW, in the picture, Erica is wearing my wedding shoes which I STILL have AND wear 30 years later!
Topic 7: Indeed! Kids should be expected to rise into the adult world, not the vice-versa which seems to be the unhealthy tendency of parenting these days!!!!
Topic 8: Fussy kids? What is that??
Topic 9: Return?? Not on your life!! You 3 girls have been the most wonderful blessing ever!!
Topic 10: No marital stress needed (for the most part) when mom and dad are on the same page, or are willing to defer to and support one another when there is a difference of opinion. It helps to marry someone with whom you already share the same basic child-rearing values (among others....). There is a lot more to deciding whom you marry than just whether he/she is "hot"!! The external factors will come and go, but your basic values are foundational. When kids are raised in a home with a solid foundation of shared values, there is consistency, security, and the fertile soil for mature and responsible adults to develop and carry on into the future. Like YOU!! =)
Topic "last": I have always loved sleeping on my tummy. Take heart: it wasn't until we lived in Zaragoza that I switched definitively to my side. Probably arthritis in the spine, that when I would lie on my stomach longer than 10 minutes, my back would tighten up and hurt so I had to roll over. Obviously, in (later) pregnancy, sleeping on your side is a necessity both for comfort and for health (blood circulation), but I successfully returned to the face-down sleeping position.
Yes, my dear, take heart!! AND, May you be blessed to take this road sooner than later!! =)
What?? You mean I was supposed to marry Adam for more reasons than his hotness? I'm confused . . .
=)
Yahahahahaha!!! I know you better than that!!
Ammendment to Topic 2: that metastasizing plastic paraphernalia didn't happen ...until Playmobil!! Remember the lines of Playmobil people you would make??
I peruse a lot of blogs, most of them food/baking-related but every now and then, I'll randomly come across a post that motivates me and fuels my daydreams for the day. This is totally that post. I can tell that you had such a cool, happy childhood and family.
The mixing board and the sisters + grandma photos are especially awesome. Mad style.
Thanks Ali! Yep, I had a very happy childhood, for which I am SO grateful. Your comment was so sweet--I'm smiling like a fool right now. =)
I have never read a better post. I loved this so muh. Too funny!! All of the pictures are just fabulous. Your parents have got to be one the sweetest couples ever!!!
Thanks for giving us such a perfect peak at your childhood and for squashing all of of fears about raising children in the process!
happy Wednesday
Happy Wednesday to you too, Jill! Thanks--my parents are indeed extremely sweet and wonderful, and I owe so much to them.