Monthly Archives: July 2011

I call him Crandyhamme

Since I have never stated my husband’s real name on this blog, I thought that today I would at least share his plethora of nicknames with y’all. They have morphed and multiplied over our 10 years together, and there are more than I could count. This is possibly due to the fact that when I’m feeling particulary affectionate, I speak in gibberish. In fact, just the other night I exclaimed in a transport of cuddliness “I’m going to schmandy* your bott**!!!

*Schmandy = not even I claim to know what this means–but I like to keep the possibilities open

**Bott = body + butt

Anyway, on to the nicknames. Here’s what we got!

-Babes / Baby / Babycakes / Babzerillo

-Sweet thang / sweeterino / the sweet the sweet

-Lovebug

-Kiddo / Kidderino

-Honey bunches / Honey bunches of oats

-Sweetie pie / Sweetie-Bar-Pie

-Lovecakes

-Cutie patootie

-Little Guy — a term of endearment in no way connected to his height, taken from this Strongbad cartoon

-Crandyhamme / Crandyhammey / Crandy / Crandyapple

Here’s the story: we were moving from Delaware to Chicago and packing up boxes. All boxes were labeled according to their contents: BDR for bedroon, LVR for living room, BTHR for bathroom, etc. However, the particular box I was working on contained so much random stuff that I decided to label it ‘random.’ Based on my brand of silliness, ‘random’ became ‘crandom’ which then became ‘crandyhamme.’ I emblazoned this on the side of the box. At some indeterminate point and for some strange reason that even I can’t explain, I started calling my husband ‘crandyhamme’ after the box. ‘Crandyapple’ and ‘crandyhammey’ are then just obvious permutations. Don’t you agree?

-Shmanty / Schmantypants (also a nickname for my sisters)

-Spanky / spankypants (ditto on the above)

-Man hands

-Hot Stuff — ’cause it’s true. Especially when he’s doing dishes.

Or making cookies.

Or shaving. Or doing push-ups. Or even just sitting on the couch. Actually, now that I really think about it, he’s pretty dang hot at all times. See, normally . . . I don’t think. I just attack.

-Handsome / cransom

-Bestbottom / Bumgenius — These are the most recent additions to the list, debuting about about a month ago when my sister was talking about cloth diaper brands. In my defense, Crandyhamme started it by calling me ‘bumgenius’ one evening. I quickly responded in kind. And you know how they say ‘much truth is said in jest’? Well, these nicknames really reflect how I feel about him. I mean, can I help it if I think his bottom is actually the Best Bottom? Or that his Bum is a Thing of Genius??

Stay tuned Monday for some pictures of the Man of Many Names from our deep past that you will not want to miss. *snort snort*

Have a great weekend everyone!

Under the net

This is my third read by author Iris Murdoch, and I have to say–what a versatile writer she is! From the poetic and dramatic ‘The Sea, The Sea‘ to the dark and disturbing ‘The Time of the Angels’ to this quirky comedy (actually her first novel, published in 1954), she runs the gamut with impressive skill. I loved this book–it has an entirely unique humor with rollicking amounts of wit. I laughed out loud at least 3 times in the course of an hour on the couch with this book. Not little giggles–actual, loud ‘hahas.’ Or ‘hree hrees’ as the case may be.

The main character is Jake Donaghue, a slightly lazy young writer and translator of novels who lives in London mooching off his artistic friends and engaging in various . . . capers. Because they can only be called capers. Madcap capers, if you will. From the kidnapping of a movie star dog to a midnight swim in the garbage-strewn Thames to breaking out of a movie actress’s house with a pocket full of crackers and paté, life is never dull, but the amounts of energy that Jake puts into each little adventure are out of proportion with the results–he seems to be scurrying around in a frenzy of activity but not really going anywhere or accomplishing anything of value.

Narrated in the first person, Jake navigates the London scene trying to reconnect with Hugo, an old friend he betrayed, and resume his attachment with his long-lost love, singer Anna Quentin. He is shadowed by his Irish friend and accomplice Finn (who has a knack for jimmying locks with a hairpin and acts as Jake’s unofficial manservant), a charismatic politician called Lefty, and the famous dog Mr. Mars.

Philosophical at times, silly at others, this book is the work of a truly gifted writer. As he sits on a bus on his way to reclaim a sheaf of manuscripts, Jake muses “I felt neither happy nor sad, only rather unreal, like a man shut in a glass. Events stream past us like these crowds, and the face of each is seen only for a minute. What is urgent is not urgent forever but only ephemerally. All work and love, the search for wealth and fame, the search for truth, life itself, are made up of moments which pass and become nothing. Yet through this shaft of nothings we drive onwards with that miraculous vitality that creates our precarious habitations in the past and the future. So we live–a spirit that broods and hovers over the continual death of time, the lost meaning, the unrecaptured moment, the unremembered face, until the final chop-chop that ends all our moments and plunges that spirit back into the void from which it came. So I reflected . . .

This excerpt for me perfectly encapsulates the book: a character jumping from moment to moment and adventure to adventure with this ‘miraculous vitality,’ but after pursuing a task with frantic urgency–it comes to nothing.

And just in case you’re still doubting the awesomeness of this book, I should add that a few years ago, Time magazine chose ‘Under the Net’ as one of the top 100 English-language books written from 1923 to 2005, and the Modern Library chose it in 2001 as one of the 100 best English-language novels of the 20th century. The conclusion is clear: make a date with your library!