How far along: 20 weeks, completed 5.22.12–halfway there!

Weight gain: 4 pounds! Hello, 137.

Clothes: I’ve been wearing lots of skirts and dresses these days and feeling both feminine and mighty comfortable. Though I did sport my skinny black cords one day, by mid-afternoon I finally relented and unbottoned that top button before it dug a permanent divet in my midriff. In a few weeks I may be saying my final goodbyes to my skinny pants . . . but I know it’s not goodbye forever, and I’m confident that we’ll have a tearfully happy reunion sometime in the fall. Hopefully earlier rather than later–we’ll just have to see how fast the weight melts away.

But first things first! It ain’t time to be losing weight yet, compadres.

Purchases: My wonderful mother-in-law has been collecting baby books! For some reason this made me extremely emotional (in a good way). This baby is going to be so loved.

Body: Feeling dang good! I love my little belly. I like to rub it all the time.

My belly also makes me feel safe. I was heading home on the El after dark one day and there were some sketchy characters on the platform with me. They were probably fine and wonderful people . . . but I was keeping an eye out (you fellow city-folk know how it goes). Then I remembered that pregnant women are universally loved and bring out that generous, gushing side of people–maybe even gangsters! So I pooched out my belly, settled my hands on it in a nicely pregnant pose, and quickly felt a bubble of baby-safety-zone descend around me.

Sleep: Still sleeping on my stomach–I wonder how much longer this can last?

Best moment(s) of the week: This one’s hard! The ultrasound . . . the conversation with my boss about my future at the company as a mother . . . my husband feeling the baby move for the first time . . . there’s just too much wonderfulness to choose from.

Movement: Yes!! Sunday night I was lying on the bed on my back, reading and trying to get sleepy. I looked down at my stomach and suddenly noticed that there was a weird lump on the lower righthand side of my abdomen. “Whoa! What the . . . baby, look at this!” I cried to my husband. I prodded the lump and it was hard as a rock. My husband reached over to touch it, and felt the baby move for the first time! Just about 15 seconds after he felt this, the lump subsided and my stomach got soft again–I guess the baby moved on to a different part of his or her little realm. It was the strangest thing, and the first time I’ve seen the baby’s body manifest itself so clearly.

Food cravings/aversions: Nothing!

Symptoms: A little nausea if I don’t eat as soon as the hunger hits, more tears than usual (but nothing insane), and a cramped feeling in the calve (or is it calf?) of my left leg (I’ve heard this is totally normal).

Emotions: Some bouts of crying, probably every other day. This can be provoked by anything–a tender word from my husband, talking about the future, my mother in law’s email with the list of books she was buying for the Little Wa-Wa . . . it’s all very wonderful.

I’ve also talked to my boss about what my life as an employee and mother will look like–but there’s a lot to say there, so I’ll save it for another post. Suffice it to say, the conversation was so much better than anything I had dared hope for that I might start crying again just thinking about it. God is GOOD!

Hopes and dreams: We’re officially searching for an apartment to move to when our lease is up at the end of August, and I dream of in-unit laundry . . . a not-so-heinous kitchen . . . a beautiful, sunlit space for our little family . . . a little baby room with a comfy chair . . . I’m excited about this move and thrilled that we’re able to upgrade our living space in time for this little one. I know it’s not strictly necessary–I slept quite comfortably in a cardboard box stashed in a closet during my first few months of life–but it’s just nice.

What I miss: Hmmm . . . nothing at the moment. Next question!

What I’m looking forward to: Getting some kind of birthing prep class nailed down. I’m fascinated by hypnobirth (not as scary or weird as it sounds, I promise), and love the idea of going natural and taking a Bradley method class. At this point, I am open to an epidural if I hate my life when the time comes and if it becomes evident to me that the pain just ain’t worth it, but I do really want to find that mental focus that can make the pain tolerable. We’ll see. I have a lot to learn, and I still don’t quite believe I’m going to have to go through that experience.

Husband update:  A few days before the ultrasound, I asked if he was dreaming more of a baby girl or a baby boy. I told him to just tell me what his heart was saying–I knew he’d be happy with whatever and not disappointed, blah blah blah. Anyway. He got this really tender, almost sheepish look on this face and said, “well . . . I would kind of like a little girl.”

He’s a darlin’.

Wednesday morning he came with me to my 3rd appointment with the midwives (followed by the ultrasound downstairs), and got to hear the baby’s heartbeat. It would go thump-thumpitty-thump-thump-GRNK!–thump-thump-thump-thumpitty-thump-GRNKLJL!

The midwife said the baby could sense the light from the machine and was kicking at it, hence the repeated GRNKLJL’s inserting themselves violently into the otherwise regular little rhythm. “The baby is really active!” she exclaimed.

As we took the elevator down to the ultrasound, my husband said, “After hearing those kicks I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a boy.”

So–boy? Girl? Girl? Boy? Cast your votes now, and I’ll tell you guys what we learned at the ultrasound tomorrow!

(Yes, slightly evil, but I need time to scan all the pictures we brought home with us.)

And by the way–for the complete progression of pregnancy pictures you can see this page. It’s much more interesting now that there’s some visible progress!