How far along: 41 weeks, completed 10/17/2012. This Friday I have a nonstress test at 1:30. Basically, they will listen to Alice’s heartbeat for about half an hour and see how she’s doing in there. If there’s any reason for concern, I’ll be induced that same day (!). In which case, I’ll phone up my darlin’ husband, who will bring the hospital bag and meet me there for showtime. On the other hand, if everything looks fine, I go back on Monday for an ultrasound and they’ll check the level of my amniotic fluid. The absolute last possible day I will be pregnant is Wednesday the 24th, and if things haven’t happened naturally by that point, I’ll be induced at 8pm.

Please pray, friends. I want Alice to come out naturally. I have no desire to take pitocin. I’m  actively giving up my worries when they hit my heart . . . and it takes some emotional work.

Weight gain: Not sure . . . a scale in a bathroom I was recently in (since we don’t have a scale at home) said 151, but there’s no way I’ve lost 3 lbs in the past week. So who knows.

Clothes: I’m ready to be done working around this belly and get back into my regular clothes. I wake up in the morning and I think “oh man . . . another maternity tank day.” I’m basically down to either this one pair of jeans, or leggings with a long top. Not exactly my idea of fun variety.

Purchases: Nothing new.

Body: In the mornings during the past week I’ve been feeling pretty energetic and moving about comfortably, but as the days progress into the evening, I’ve been getting more uncomfortable. Getting up from the couch is considerably more difficult at night, for example. Maybe because after eating and drinking all day, my stomach expands and makes everything else feel more cramped?

And yesterday I woke up feeling uncomfortable from the get go (possibly because during the night it felt like Alice was trying to drill her way out through my pelvic floor–ouch). I went to work anyway, but didn’t stick around long. Everything was under control at the office (ah, bliss), so I decided to work from my lovely old Blackberry and head home to some raspberry leaf tea.

I’ve been getting contractions that feel slightly painful at least a few times per evening. One night, there was a nice 10-minute pattern for about an hour, but then they went away. As soon as I feel a contraction that feels like a strong menstrual cramp and has a little edge of back pain to it, I get excited and say a little prayer that they will continue. But until now, they haven’t turned into anything lasting or super intense. We’re trying all the methods of natural induction on the list: spicy foods . . . pineapple . . . pressure points on the ankle and arms . . . walking . . . and other methods. Heh heh.

Oh, and lotsa prayer.

Anyway, it’s just not computing that my body will ever decide to start this process. I feel like there’s a motherboard that needs some buttons to be pushed, but I’m not sure how to access those buttons. Will my body just start labor at some point? I have trouble trusting that it will.

And as for belly-disappearing, it’s actually still kind of successful, though in the picture below it doesn’t look it since I had just stuffed myself with taco salad, oatmeal bread, fruit salad, and scones. Scones galore.

Sleep: As awesome-sauce as usual, with the exception of Alice’s drilling expedition Monday night around 3am.

Best moment(s) of the week: I really loved our relaxing Saturday. I had a nice, peaceful devotional with coffee and cookies in the morning . . . we meal-planned and grocery shopped . . . we hung out and talked . . . I read on the couch while drinking tea and watching the rain . . . and then we made coq au vin (a huge batch so that we could freeze the leftovers) and watched a documentary (“Waiting for Superman”) in bed. Perfection!

Movement: She’s still twisting and stretching around, and it’s definitely more uncomfortable than ever before. She’s got some strength in those little legs! And the tendon-twanging feeling from last week–it’s the worst. I’m not a banjo, little girl! But if you come out today I’ll give you a banjo . . . (yes, I’m not beyond bribing at this point).

Food cravings/aversions: Nothing in particular to report here, but it’s been painful to watch my darling husband eat our favorite kind of ice cream (Dulce de Leche) and not partake. When Alice is about 3 weeks old, my self-imposed ban on dairy will be lifted and there will be much rejoicing. My first mission will be to eat a bowl of berries smothered in heavy whipping cream.

Symptoms: Contractions (more in the evening than during the day), but without the intensity and pattern that would indicate labor is happening.

Emotions: I’ve been pretty emotional about work in the past week. Some things have come up (beyond anyone’s control) that have meant I need to be here. I don’t want to go into detail, but late last week I cried at work for probably the 3rd time in 3 years, and was completely overwhelmed by stress. I cried on the bus as I went to the office . . . I cried in the bathroom after getting here . . . I cried at my desk . . . and then I cried in front of my boss. Yikes. Thankfully after some thinking, planning and decision-making followed by improvement in some matters beyond my control, things are (I think) in place again so that I can leave unencumbered by the feeling that things may fall apart. They won’t!

There is now a back-up plan for the back-up plan, type of thing.

All in all, the stress at work was the only downer in my week until I got some serious blues Monday evening. Totally out of the blue, and for no reason that I could even put my finger on. I just didn’t feel like smiling, or laughing, or doing really anything at all. So with my husband’s encouragement, as soon as we had finished dinner I went to bed and watched 2 episodes of “Clean House.” Then my baby joined me (the husband, not the Alice) and read me Sherlock Holmes until I fell asleep. Will you think me superficial if I say this was pretty much bliss? Because it was.

Hopes and dreams: Every day I hope that it will be The Day, but I’m trying not to obsess and steal the enjoyment out of the present.

What I miss: Wearing normal clothes.

What I’m looking forward to: Holding my baby girl for the first time. It’s funny, because though it’s closer than ever, it also feels further away than ever before.

Husband update: He’s ready for her to be born! Thankfully he’s also really into his work right now, writing chapter 1 of his dissertation with research he’s been doing all summer. So going to work every day is exciting for him, which I think helps take his mind off the waiting game.

I hope you’re all having great weeks! I continue to covet all of your prayers for peace, strength, patience, and pretty much all the blessings of God on us and on the timing of this. Love you all!