Alice is my delight. I didn’t realize, even in the days after she was born, how close to my heart she would become. How my heart would go pitter pat when I see that first smile of the morning. How if her nap goes on for longer than usual, I start missing her. Years ago when thinking about the possibility of having children, I used to think I’d skip babyhood if I could and move my kids right into the stage when they’re talking and interacting. After all, that’s so much more interesting and rewarding, right? But it turns out that I love that she’s a baby. There’s nothing as interesting as watching her move her little dimpled hands towards a toy or kick her little legs, and nothing as rewarding as her sighs and coos of pleasure as I breastfeed her, or her gurgles and “gaaaa”s when she talks to us about all her little baby feelings. I was a fool to ever even consider wanting to skip past this time. (Isn’t it great that God doesn’t leave those choices up to us?) And not only do I love that she’s a dimpled, double-chinned baby, but I love that she’s my baby. When we were saying goodbye to my family after Christmas, I remember getting a rush of joy when I thought “Thank God I don’t have to say goodbye to Alice–I get to take her with me!”
My three months of maternity leave, of which today is the last official day, have meant so much to me. Alice is my daughter, my buddy, my baby-love, my responsibility and my joy, and these months have been full to the brim of happiness.
I particularly remember that first week we spent alone, when she was 2 1/2 weeks old. My mom had left over the weekend, so Monday morning after my husband went to work, Alice and I had a whole day to ourselves–in fact, a whole week full of days to ourselves. And it was beautiful. Sunlight enveloped the living room in a gentle glow, and as I lay on the couch and nursed and napped with my baby, the quiet only broken by her little snorts and sighs, I really started falling in love with her.
Here are some shots of us at Thanksgiving, when she was a month old . . .
. . . and here are some taken just last week, at almost 3 months old.
I thank God that come Monday, when I go back to work, this little bundle comes with me; I don’t think I could do it otherwise. I’ll load up the car with diapers, wipes, blankets and pacifiers, and I’ll load up my heart with prayers for faith and peace and joy, and we will jump into this new phase together.
Have a great weekend everyone. Monday approacheth . . . but it’s not here yet!
She’s so beautiful, I’m sorry your mat leave is over today, and good luck on Monday
I love the way you look at her.
So sweet! I love the third from the bottom, where you’re both looking into the camera. Enjoy your weekend and good luck next week!
The third from the bottom is my favorite too. It’s like she’s cheerfully saying, “We’re awesome! Gimme a fist bump!”
it’s SO good to hear this perspective of motherhood. as someone without children [yet- probably someday] who isn’t a baby fanatic to begin with…this is just good stuff, and much better than the day to day mom complaints on facebook from friends about being tired and stressed and such. i hope next week goes well!
Truth be told, I thought I could take or leave motherhood. I didn’t enjoy babysitting as a teenager. I didn’t get excited over other people’s babies. So, I figured out that I would be satisfied with or without children . . . let God’s will be done. But then I became a mother. There is no way to describe that rush of emotion that suddenly envelopes you when you know, without any doubt, that would sacrifice ANYTHING for that wee one. I have loved all of the ages and stages of my daughter, every single one of them, and have felt so honored and blessed to be her mother. I am still enjoying the stage she is in at age 23 (married/childless) and am looking forward to her next stage. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. How wonderful that little Alice gets to go to work with you . . . that is the most fantastic thing any boss could ever grant an employee!
Just adore that cute smile of hers! So gleeful! And of course you are the most beautiful mama. Good luck on Monday! Can’t wait to hear how it goes.
I’m sure Alice is going to treasure these photos in years to come – you’re looking at her with so much love! Hope going back to work isn’t too difficult! At least you get to take her with you. : )
Lovely pictures! I remember telling my father in law at 4 months “I love her so much more than I did when she was born. If this continues, I’m in trouble.” You can’t remember a time when you didn’t know them. I used to say to my kids (and they loved it) that “God gave me just the baby I wanted. If He had given me (child’s friend’s name) I would have had to say, hmmm, sorry, no thanks, but he gave me YOU and I said, oh yes, this is JUST the one I wanted.” So fun to remember those glory days (they’re mostly all glory days actually).
love, love, love…
Smiling at Alice smiling at you. Smiling at you smiling at Alice. Smiling because this was a blessing to read!