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Fat Angry Baby

Oh man.

Alice recently turned 7 months, and I decided to take some pictures of her. I took her into our bedroom, sat her in the white rocker and started snapping.

She played with her feet, she twisted around, she smiled, she cooed.

Basically, typical Alice behavior.

She even started getting a little sleepy.

And then, something started a-brewing. The first sign was that her cheeks suddenly appeared twice their normal size.

I love big cheeks, so I wasn’t complaining one bit.

And then, suddenly, Alice was no longer exactly looking like Alice. At all. In the blink of an eye, she had turned into . . .

Fat Angry Baby.

From whence she came, I don’t know.

She wasn’t even angry at the time. Or fat–though I LOVE fat babies.

If I hadn’t been the one to take these pictures and someone had shown them to me and said “look at this baby,” I would not have recognized my own daughter.

Let’s take a closer look.

I don’t know who this is . . . but I LOVE HER.

And I love her with a mustache too.

(incidentally, this isn’t the first time I’ve added hair art to a baby–it’s wildly entertaining)

Who are you, Fat Angry Baby? And can I please squeeze every bit of your squishy, angry baby body? AND CAN I PLEASE KISS YOUR CHINNY CHIN CHIN CHIN CHINNITY CHINNYCHINCHIN OVER AND OVER????

Ma’am, you’ll have to get in line and apply for a baby-squeezing permit. Demand is high and there may be an additional 90-day waiting period for chinnity-chin-chin kissers.

Okay, Fat Angry Baby. Anything for you.

And then . . .

Alice started to come back.

Fat Angry Baby was gone.

Wasn’t that a good trick, Mom? she laughed.

Wasn’t it?

Will I ever see Fat Angry Baby again?

I can only hope.

Please report directly to me with any sightings.


Jenna:

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