This was the Christmas Big Jake parasailed onto a beach in Puerto Vallarta in his Santa Claus outfit. Though I don’t have a copy of the final card, these are some of the pictures that were used.

Need I point out that the best legs in the crowd belong to the woman on the left in the above picture–to Mama Kitty herself?

Seriously–give those legs a good look–she’s to the left of Big Jake. I think Mama Kitty was in her 70s at the time, but those legs are still in their 20s. I would take her legs as my first pick any day (no offense to the rest of the beautiful ladies, one of whom is my own mother).

I’m sad to say I didn’t inherit the short waist/long legs. I got the long waist/short legs instead. Hmmm, sounds like another goofup at the human factory. It makes bathing suit shopping very, very difficult when your waist is about 5x the length of everyone else’s. However, my sister Heidi of the also long torso reports that it makes pregnancy easier because your organs aren’t as smoonched up. But that’s another story for another time.