Tag Archives: holidays

What NOT to give someone for Christmas

I received a beautifully wrapped gift a few Christmases ago from someone who shall not be named. (Don’t worry–this is an acquaintance, and there is NO WAY he or she reads my blog. Um, I hope.) It had some heft to it, and based on the rectangular shape I figured maybe it was an awesome board game. Or a carved tray. Or something cool.

Then I opened it.

And it was . . .

. . . yes. A larger-than-life bar of chocolate.

“But how great is that!” you may be thinking.

Let me clarify–these weren’t individually sized pieces of chocolate, ideal for consumption. This was one bar. Many, many pounds of chocolate, forged together into an unbreakable, un-bite-able plank. Entirely impractical for the following reasons:

1) You need special equipment to cut this thing. No ordinary knife was going to do the job.

2) How do you store it? Er . . . with a whole roll of plastic wrap?

3) Breaking off pieces would result in mess, mess, mess, with tiny chocolate shavings festooning the whole area.

4) It weighs a ton. And doesn’t fit easily in a cupboard. Or in any Ziploc bag I’ve ever seen.

5) Who eats that much chocolate???

Anyway, it was going to take way too much work to deal with this thing. Way too much trouble–and yet I couldn’t throw the thing away, because then I’d have guilt all over my face next time I saw this person. All I could think of was how to get rid of this thing as quickly as possible. Our next social event was a little Christmas party for our Bible study, at the home of Joe and Kathy. Joe and Kathy also happen to have 5 kids. I quickly hatched a plan to foist this bar of chocolate on them. Either directly, or by hiding it in the pile of presents under their tree.

I showed it to our small group and David, our Bible study leader, examined the monster.

It’s bigger than his head!

Way bigger.

We soon determined that someone needed to try to take a bite. That special someone was going to be Carrie.

I don’t remember if she was willing, or if my aggressive side came out and forced her hand.

Go Carrie go!

That girl is fearless.

And she has nice teeth.

Why can’t I have nice teeth like that?

Anyway, if she keeps gnawing on that chocolate she ain’t gonna have nice teeth for long.

So the conclusion of this little piece of Christmas history is this: unless you know that the giftee is planning a fondue party for 50 the following day, please think twice before purchasing a bar of chocolate of this magnitude for anyone.


Quick and Easy Black Bean Soup

During my post-holiday blues, I used cooking to drown out my sorrows. I didn’t plan it that way consciously, but as a new day dawned and I had to wrangle up something to occupy my mind and take it off my achy heart, cooking was a natural direction to head. After my morning coffee and Bible time, I opened up a cookbook and dreamed away. What did my taste buds want to experience that evening? Something deep and smoky? Light and bright? Comfort food or something a little more razzle-dazzle? After making a grocery list for the day and traipsing down to the Devon Market (which is so conveniently located right next to our apartment), I spread out my goodies on the kitchen counter and gazed with pleasure at the bower of cilantro, the neatly ranged cans of beans, and the glorious meaty pink of salmon fillets.

Having long kitchen projects with multiple courses involved was so therapeutic! And it was also a useful (and necessary) thing to put my hand to since we had our friend Tyler in town, my brother-in-law staying with us, and a couple dinner parties lined up. So I focused my efforts on flank steak, salsas, soups, fish, and threw together bacon omelets on a whim.

With pauses of course to care for this little thang.

Who, incidentally, put on her fussiest behavior especially for her Uncle Tyler!

Yup. She was a basket of neediness, that delightful little stinker.

Hey! I will fuss WHERE I want, WHEN I want, hear me?

And–back to food–in case you haven’t noticed my recent recipe posts, yes, I’m officially obsessed with soups. Namely the ones in the America’s Test Kitchen Quick Family Cookbook. This one graced the table accompanied by rice, honey-lime salmon and freshly made toasts. I love a good bean soup, and what sets this one apart is the rich, smoky, meaty flavor of Spanish chorizo. Mmmmmm.

It’s quick to throw together, so grab a can opener and a sharp knife, and make ye this soup!

Ingredients

(Serves 4-6)

4-15 oz cans black beans, drained and rinsed
3 cups chicken broth
8 oz Spanish chorizo sausage, diced
1 onion, diced
1 red bell pepper, diced
1 TBS vegetable oil
6 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp dried oregano
½ tsp ground cumin
½ tsp chili powder
1 bunch green onions, minced
½ cup minced cilantro
Salt and pepper to taste

1. Process 2 cups of black beans and 1 cup of broth in a blender until smooth.

2. In a large pot or Dutch oven, combine the oil, sausage, onion and bell pepper and heat over medium high. Cook until vegetables are slightly browned (about 7 minutes).

3. Add the garlic and spices to the pot and cook for about 30 seconds, until fragrant.

4. Add the broth, beans and blended broth/beans to the pot, stirring together and scraping up any browned bits from the bottom.

5. Simmer for 15 minutes, taste, and re-season if needed.

6. Stir in the cilantro and green onions and serve hot! Garnish with hot sauce and crusty bread or croutons if desired.

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