Tag Archives: marriage

A loud and goaty kind of guy

We have a new addition to our household!

His face is . . . goaty.

No, really. It’s made of goat skin.

He’s also very strappy, as you can see.

And he can be quite vociferous when walloped. I like walloping him.

This is my birthday present this year. I shimmied over to Andy’s Music store on Belmont Avenue last week in the blistering heat and talked the ears off 2 salesmen and 2 random customers in my sincere efforts to choose the best djembe possible.

For example, should I go for a synthetic skinned djembe or one with a real animal skin? And if I got the real animal skin, is goat or cow hide better? How hard is it to tune a djembe that has a rope system instead of metal screws you can just tighten or loosen with a key? How does the synthetic skin respond to heat and cold as opposed to animal skins? And while we’re at it, can I get a discount?

All 4 gentlemen were unanimous in their advice: go with the goat. Yes, it’s a heavier drum, it’s harder to tune, there’s no strap attached for my carrying ease, and it’s more expensive to replace the skin when you bust through it after a few years of use–but it’s simply a better instrument.

I tested the drums for an hour, and in the end, the musician in me couldn’t put future conveniences above the pure sound of the thing. I went with my heart and bought the djembe with the best dang sound.

I should also mention there was only a $5 price difference between the goaty and synthetic djembes, which made the decision a lot more straightforward. If the better instrument had required me to get a second mortgage or something, then better sound better schmound. I wouldna couldna dunnit. (Of course, not owning a house, the whole second mortgage thing would have been a bust anyway.)

I’m very new to percussion–my experience is limited to playing the tambourine at 10 years of age during summer camp and demurely shaking the egg shaker at church every now and then (as long as I can manage to sing at the same time–vrreeery challenging). Oh, and earlier this year I smacked around a tambourine on the morning of Easter Sunday, developing a string of painful blisters across my right hand that later turned into ugly little yellow callouses, which by the way looked more like a bizarre infection than a mark of musicianship. But other than that, percussion is a brand-spanking new world to me.

Keeping a good rhythm seems to require just the right amount of not-thinking, which is a very weird place to try to get my mind. Almost meditative, I guess. I’m sure it’s good for my brain, and also great practice for . . . something.

Like for . . . being sent to a nunnery against my will. Or being thrown unexpectedly into a solitary confinement chamber. You certainly never know when that’s going to happen. Or . . . like . . . um . . . like, if suddenly my life is on the line because I unwittingly fell into a nest of ninja fighters and the only way to throw off the killers is to go into a state of deep meditation as quickly as possible. Then I’ll be much more likely to get out alive.

I feel safer and more prepared to face the world already.

Anyway, the egg-shaking experience has been a great foray into percussion (and my learning journey with it is by no means over), but I need a little more to work with–something with good vibrations that I can hit hard.

Pose with the djembe! I cried to my unsuspecting husband.

He started to . . . but then got distracted killing a spider.

Sorry, Mr. 8-legged Critter. This city just ain’t big enough for the both of us.

Then a fight broke out on the street which needed to be checked out by our Household Safety Officer.

Okay, looks like we’re in the clear.

That’s great honey, I encouraged. Now give ‘er a nice ole smack!

 

Welcome, loud and goaty guy. You fit the bill.

Culinary goals for the summer months

*Picture above: completely random. Relevance of that image to this post: zero. But aren’t my Dad and sister looking especially adorable?

During the summer I tend to fall off the cooking wagon. A combination of travel plans, weird summer schedule type things, and the anti-stove sentiments that one experiences on a hot day all merge together, and somehow when September rolls around I realize in amazement that I don’t remember having cooked a single dang thing. This is already starting to happen, as the only meal I’ve cooked in the past ten days has been that Beef Stroganoff I shared with y’all yesterday.

This summer, things shall be different. So I have set some culinary goals for myself that are designed to:

a) Make me stay on track

b) Make you make me stay on track

c) Provide clear guidelines for the guilt trip I will engage in when, in fact, I achieve none of the stated objectives

d) Provide clear guidelines for the invectives/reprimands/diatribes you will heap upon me when, in fact, I achieve none of the stated objectives

So help me help you help me, folks. Here we go:

1. Make a birthday cake for my husband. Yes, his birthday was back in March, but somehow this delusional man is under the impression that I owe him two Barefoot Contessa glazed lemon cakes. I was pretty sure I had done something awesome that reduced my debt to only one of these cakes, so we need to hash that out amongst the two of us. But I’ve really got to hunker down and get a cake plan going, because if not, the age of 105 will find us side by side on a couch masticating our dentures and arguing at the top of our feeble old lungs: “But you owe me twooooo cakes! Twooooo cakes I tell ya!” *swat* “But diddn’ I do sumthin’ and now I just owe ya ooooone? I think it’s just oooooone!” *spank* “Whaaaaat? Whadja say old woman?” *spank*

2. Get around to making Biltong. It’s not that hard, children, I tell myself. And then I go sit on the couch instead.

3. Months ago, I created a page that divides my recipes into categories. Two of those categories have remained conspicuously empty: Pizza and Sandwiches. I find this very ironic, since my husband’s favorite food is pizza. And his favorite ‘on the go’ food is Potbelly’s Classic Italian sandwich. However, since I rule the stove, I gravitate towards my favorites–Asian food. Stir fries. Things with mushrooms. Mine, mine, mine! I can’t help associating sandwiches with the oh-so-boring lunch my paternal grandparents had every single day. They were wonderful people–but perhaps lacked a certain culinary inclination? I need to overcome my sandwich hangups, because there really are some great creations out there I could replicate, to the ooohs and aaahs of the man in my life. Sigh.

Thus endeth the list–and now, please participate in a campaign of constant nagging until I get this stuff done.

Love,

The Hopefully Soon-to-be Birthday Cake-Making Machine