Tag Archives: motherhood

30 Weeks

How far along: 30 weeks, completed 7/31/2012.

Weight gain: I should have more regular updates in this area since my appointments are now moving to every two weeks (my next one is, in fact, Monday). That said, while I was in Wisconsin I happened to spot a scale and hopped on it: 148, so it looks like about 1 pound in the past week.

Clothes: Still rejoicing in my long maternity tanks from Target and my stash of belly-friendly dresses.

Purchases: No baby-related purchases, but I did receive absolutely lovely gifts (and cash!) from my extended family at the weekend gathering we had. Thank you Mom, Aunt Jacquie, Aunt Jessie, Aunt Paula, Aurora, June, Eleanor, Marguerite, Aunt Chula, Rachel, and whoever else I’m forgetting! Pictures are forthcoming, but my favorite gift was the quilt my sister Erica made in soft yellows and greens. It’s the most precious thing I’ve ever seen. Sniff sniff.

There’s just something about knowing that Alice is going to be born into so much love, and that my sisters will adore her no matter what, that sends me into tears when I think about it. And somehow unfolding that quilt from Erica just made this hit home for me. This little girl doesn’t even know we exist yet, and already she is so cherished by so many.

Body: I’d thought based on last week that we would be seeing the last of this trick, but my mutant ability is apparently refusing to die.

Where does she go??

It’s a mystery for the ages.

Sleep: This has been the most challenging week so far, and I can only hope it’s a fluke based on travel (which sometimes funkifies my rest cycle, especially since I didn’t have my body pillow with me). The two nights I spent in Wisconsin, I was fidgety and restless, so I ended up walking around the darkened hotel room while trying not to wake Erica, peeing about a million times, doing squats to get rid of that antsy feeling in my legs, and finally falling asleep around 3am (both times after praying for God to have mercy on me and send me into a state of oblivion).

Then I came home, and though I’ve been able to go to sleep a lot more quickly off the bat, I’ve been waking up to pee around 2:30am and not being able to fall back asleep for about an hour.

To this I saw: craorrwww.

I also almost pushed my poor husband out of the bed with my body pillow. Me and that pillow . . . we take up a lot of space. The poor guy uttered a meek “Um . . . Jenna?” around 3am on one such night, and I quickly moved things around so that he could actually sleep without the risk of falling off the edge.

Best moment(s) of the week: Spending Friday and Saturday with my sister Erica and roadtripping to Wisconsin together was divine. There is NOTHING in the world like sister time–talking and crying and talking some more, sharing hair products and hairstyling tips, grabbing McD’s for breakfast, knowing what the other is thinking before she has to say it, exchanging meaningful eye glances and knowing exactly what the other means by it, etc. Sharing Alice’s movements and body rolls with Erica was also a delight, and seeing her love for her niece that’s already so strong was an unbelievable blessing to me.

We loved our time with our extended family, and we also loved escaping both nights to a hotel that was our own space, where we could let loose, turn on the TV, and just completely chill out.

I love you, Erica!!

Let’s do this again whenever we have a chance.

Movement: Big body rolls seem to be the name of the game. She tends to do these after I lie down on my back in the evening or at night, and love watching the waves she makes on the surface of my belly. I’m also definitely feeling her hiccups–little rhythmic pops that go on for a few minutes. I think that feeling her move is one of my favorite parts of pregnancy, guys.

Food cravings/aversions: Nothing!

Symptoms: So! I had heartburn for the first time in my life. Wow–now I know why people take something for it. It hurts! It’s like a fire in your chest or something. I had it once (last Wednesday?) after lunch and also after dinner. Thankfully that’s the only time, because if it becomes the norm . . . well, ouch.

Also, exhaustion really has returned, making me crave naps that I frequently can’t take. It’s not as bad as the first trimester yet, when I was so desperate to sleep that I leaned my head on my desk at the office and said adios to the world around me. And another time, just lay down on the floor for a 30 minute nap, since there was no one around to see me.

I feel like I could get to that point soon, but we’ll see.

Emotions: Feeling loved! By my sister, my mom, by my extended family and sweet aunts and cousins–the love has just been pouring into me and little Alice.

Also, the pattern still holds: when we watch a birth video at the Bradley class, I invariably cry when the baby pops out, no matter how slimy or covered in white goo. It is just so moving, you guys.

Our pastor and his wife (Tom and Traci) has us over for brunch on Sunday along with two other couple friends of ours who are having their babies this month–possibly within the next week or two. Tom and Traci gave us tons of good advice about sleep training and nursing, and it was great to be able to ask questions, hear specific stories about what worked and didn’t work for them, hear the concerns the other couples had, and just generally talk baby stuff with friends who are about to embark on the same journey we are. Our church has truly become our family here in Chicago.

Hopes and dreams: At this point, I’m dreaming of cooler weather . . . because the idea of having a baby strapped to my sweaty chest as I navigate public transit in 100 degree heat seems like a nightmarish sweat bath. By October this weather foolishness should all be over, right?

What I miss: At this point, routine. This summer has been so crazy with band stuff, family stuff, church stuff, social stuff, photography stuff, birthing classes, preparation for moving, etc. And it’s been great! But I’m so ready for the stability and predictability of the fall. Once we move to our new apartment, I’m going to find that groove and just settle into it. It’s going to be awesome. I can do chaos . . . but I thrive on routine with some occasional chaos loosely sprinkled in.

What I’m looking forward to: Getting a temp in place at my job to cover me during my maternity leave (which reminds me I still need to share with you guys about my work situation). I can’t wait until all of that is settled and I’m training the right person–I feel like then I can start to emotionally let go of work and refocus that energy on my impending motherhood and all the (lovely) demands that will come with it.

Husband update: I’ve been writing this post with a pretty joyful and happy heart, but I have to say that when I just got to the line “husband update,” my face broke into a full-fledged smile.

He makes me smile, guys.

In fact, I can’t stop.

I get to have a baby with my best friend!

And my best friend happens to be the kindest man I’ve ever met. He is so committed to loving me well, to being vulnerable even when it’s hard, to serving me by taking care of my physical needs (going to the grocery alone when I’m tired; packing for our move to save my body the strain of bending and twisting; taking care of a million little household chores). And he’s also the most fun person to hang out with.

Somehow, when I was 18 and had a terrible hairdo and was socially awkward and had bacne, this crazy kid from LaPorte, Indiana showed up and fell in love with me. And then the “crazy kid” actually turned out to be a godly man with the strongest and most tender heart I could have imagined.

And I say “somehow,” but it is so clearly the hand of God that gave him to me, and intertwined our hearts over the years into what we have now–this unity of spirit that just blows me away.

Aahhhh. Anyway, enough mush for today–go forth and have a great end of the week, all y’all!


29 Weeks

How far along: 29 weeks, completed 7/24/2012.

Weight gain: I had my appointment with the midwives on Monday, and the new gain is: 3 lbs! 147 up from my 144 last month. Total pregnancy gain is now 14 lbs.

Clothes: After my trip to Plato’s the other week, I feel pretty darn set.

Purchases: Nothin’ new.

Body: The midwife went over my ultrasound & blood test results from the previous Monday, and all is good! My hemoglobin is apparently awesome (whatever that means), and there’s no trace of anemia in sight. My vitamin D levels are strong. And little Alice is in the 44th percentile for size (“middle of the road” as my midwife put it), which is hopefully a sign that I WON’T be pushing out gigantobaby, but moderababy.

The belly disappearing act . . . well, I’ll just let this image speak for itself.

Heh heh.

And I almost forgot to mention–about a week ago, my husband noticed a very faint line descending from my belly button. It’s called the “linea nigra,” and Wikipedia tells me that it shows up “due to increased melanocyte-stimulating hormone made by the placenta.”

Whoop-de-doo.

It’s not too visible yet–in fact, I can barely make it out depending on the lighting. It’s a very faint pale color just a shade different than my skin tone, but it will probably darken over time. Then, after Alice pops out, shazzam! It’s gone.

But I guess I’d better make friends with it in the meantime.

Sleep: Gut gut, ja.

Best moment(s) of the week: I’m not sure if this is “the best,” but our past two Bradley classes have been really great, and very practical. Pushing positions . . . comfort measures . . . prenatal massage (with my darling husband gets to practice on me–wheee!) . . .

It’s weird thinking about the labor and delivery process ahead, because though I totally trust my husband to be there for me and do his darnedest to give me what I need, alleviate my suffering however he can, and stay attentive to how I’m doing for hours on end, I feel a sense of guilt about this. Being the labor coach doesn’t exactly sound like fun. Catering to my every whim? That just seems like a pain in the badonkadonk.

I think I need to pray about this and reach a place where I’m willing to let go and accept the fact that he is going to have to serve me. Intensely. For who knows how many hours or days. And I’m just going to have to let him. And not feel guilty that I’m putting him through the wringer.

He’s not at all thinking along these lines–he is ready. But accepting the fact that I’m going to be so weak, so dependent on his support and his encouragement–I find this frightening. Not because I think he’ll let me down, but because I’m not used to letting go of my self-sufficiency to that degree.

Oh, and speaking of good moments, since my parents were in town for our CD release concert (which I will write about soon!), my dad got to feel Alice move and thump a little, though she didn’t go as wild as she had with my mom the previous weekend.

Movement: What a sweetie–she was kicking back hardcore when we were trying to listen to her heartbeat on Monday. She definitely doesn’t like whatever light thingy shines in when they use the Doppler baby heart monitor.

Food cravings/aversions: Smoothies! I like ’em–a lot. Some frozen berries, a banana, some yogurt, some almond milk–bliss.

Symptoms: I’m feeling pretty fortunate in this area–besides starting to feel really tired again, overheating easily, and struggling more and more to turn myself over in bed without causing a mattress earthquake of epic proportions, I feel really good. This part of pregnancy is so much easier than the early part, when I wasn’t showing yet but felt bloated all the time (ugh). I will take this part ANY DAY over the bloated phase–any day!

Emotions: I’ve felt great, except for one disaster day (Wednesday of last week). First, I got home and pretty much fell apart for no reason as my husband and I tried to talk through an event we had coming up. After sobbing for a while, I recovered enough to jump into a packing project since our move is getting closer and closer. I built some boxes and started packing up vases and decor items from the living room and dining room area. As I moved a bunch of silk peonies, I caught the antenna of my brother-in-law John’s radio, which promptly crashed to the floor. And despite my husband’s valiant attempts to take it apart and fix it, that thing was determined to stay broken. Guys, I spent the rest of the evening crying about this radio. It didn’t matter that it was an accident, that John wasn’t upset, or that we could easily buy another for him (and did)–I felt horrible. Make that horribly horrible. My deepest desire was that someone would walk up behind me and knock me out so that the day could just. be. over.

I crawled my sorry butt into bed at 8:30 and sank into blissful oblivion.

Thus endeth my tale of misery.

Possible explanations include: hormones. And something our friend Jon theorized about–de-nesting. I’m packing and taking apart a living space during a period in which my instincts are crying out to nest. This makes total sense. Hormones + de-nesting = crazy lady. Children, please don’t try this at home.

Thankfully, other than that one evening, I’ve felt fine, dandy, and generally peaceful. Of course, there have been tears related to Eric and Carrie’s moving away (more about that tomorrow . . .), but we can’t go blaming that on tiny Alice.

Hopes and dreams: I’m eager to get past the de-nesting and into the nesting.

What I miss: Walking up stairs without feeling like a limping hippopotamus.

What I’m looking forward to: The last-minute baby shower that my extended family is throwing for me in Wisconsin this weekend–and my sister Erica is coming! We are road tripping out Friday morning and I can’t wait to get some quality time with her, and to introduce her to the kicks and jabs of her niece Alice.

I didn’t think I was going to be able to see Erica again until Christmas since her move to Arizona is imminent, but she decided at the last minute to put on her hardcore road-tripping helmet, and it’s happening. Hallelujah.

Husband update:  This guy is the sweetest, sweetest, sweetest. I can’t even tell you the ways that he shows me love constantly, but I’ll give one example. The past two Sundays, I’ve been so tired after church that I’ve had to stop for a nap. Instead of waiting for me to get my motor back up and running, he’s taken it upon himself to get our grocery shopping for the week by himself, in the heat, while I slept.

Seeing such a model of Christ-like servanthood in him (and being the direct recipient of it) is so . . . humbling. Inspiring. And I pray that I can and will do the same for him–go out of my way for his happiness every single day.

I love you, baby!