Tag Archives: pregnancy

39 Weeks

How far along: 39 weeks, completed 10/2/2012. And by the time this post is published, we are looking at a due date that is only 6 days away!

WHAT DID I JUST SAY?

Yes. 6 days away. Holy cramoley.

Weight gain: My appointment with the midwives was Tuesday morning, and I’m up one more pound from last week, at 152 (for a total gain of 19 lbs).

Clothes: I’ve definitely got my money’s worth out of the 4 or so maternity tank tops that I’ve purchased over the last few months. They are the best and most versatile pregnancy-wear ever! I’ve been mostly sticking to tanks with little cardigans or sweaters over top, and skirts with soft waistbands over leggings.

I’d encourage anyone out there who’s pregnant and starting to show to go hog wild on the tank tops, but to WAIT on the maternity pants until you absolutely need them . . . because if you get them too early on you may run into the problem I’ve had and realize your butt doesn’t stay the same size throughout the 40 weeks of baby-growing. You’d think I’d have realized this . . . but I didn’t.

Purchases: Based on my sister Heidi’s recommendation, I decided to bring a tube-top style dress to the hospital with me. Heidi explained that if your newborn feels any fabric at all against her face, she can get confused about where your breast is, so it’s easiest to wear something that you can pull down completely during that first leg of breastfeeding. I needed no further encouragement to take myself on a little shopping trip to Plato’s Closet, where I found a great, comfortable dress that fits those requirements.

Body: Alice’s hiccups are so strong these days that sometimes she jolts my whole upper body when she’s in the throes of a series. I love it! And I can’t believe that my time feeling her move inside is running out so quickly.

And I had contractions Monday night! My Braxton Hicks contractions had felt a little more intense on Sunday and during the day on Monday, but Monday night was a whole different experience. There I was, hanging out in our bedroom around 8:30pm, and I started getting what felt like painful period cramps extending from my lower back into my uterus. Unlike the Braxton Hicks contractions (during which I can keep walking and moving around, albeit a little more slowly), if I tried to move during these, the result was stabbing pains. I put on my yoga music CD and practiced relaxing, and then my husband read me some Sherlock Holmes stories out loud, until we turned the lights off at 10:30. The contractions continued off and on until I finally dozed off around midnight. My midwife said these may start happening every night, but that I’ll be able to tell when real labor starts because then I’ll really have to work then.

I don’t know, man . . . I feel like I was already having to work through these. Hmmmm.

But all that said, Tuesday morning I woke up looking forward to going through it again and building up some practice, some stamina, and some mental tools for coping. The thing is, they didn’t happen Tuesday night–I only remember having about 3 of them around 2am that I incorporated into a dream and was only semi-conscious of.

What does it all mean? Why contractions one night but not so much the next?

I have no idea. I guess I’ll just let my body do it’s thing and try not to expect anything in particular.

Sleep: Still going great! I’m out like a rock by 10:30 every night (except for Monday).

Best moment of the week: Hands down, it was a “virtual breakfast” with Sarah and Vessie, two of my best friends. Thanks to the marvels of Google +, we were able to have a 3-way video chat over breakfast Saturday morning that was the next best thing to actually having breakfast together (which would have been a little difficult since Texas, Virginia and Illinois aren’t exactly close together). These ladies . . . these ladies. I love ’em. We’ve been friends since our semester abroad in Paris, which was an unbelievable 8 years ago.

My other favorite thing this week was connecting with some of the new moms and pregnant women at my church. Two of them had their first babies in August, I’m about due now, and three more women are due in March/April. Yup, it’s a baby explosion in our congregation! (which is pretty amazing considering the small size of our church) I’m so grateful to be going through this surrounded by other women who are experiencing the same things. Little did I know when I met these women about 3 years ago that baby-time would hit almost simultaneously for all of us. What a blessing! I’m really looking forward to meeting with them over the fall and winter, and supporting each other.

Movement: Big stretches, powerful hiccups, feet poking out of my right side–the same as usual.

Food cravings/aversions: I’m definitely still on a kick with bananas. The greener the better, and when slathered with both peanut butter and Nutella they make a fantabulous dessert.

Symptoms: Contractions! And that sums up the new developments in this area.

Emotions: It’s the same old swing that I’ve been feeling for last week or two between joyful expectancy and the feeling of “oh crap–what have we done??” But more intense than ever before. Both my husband and I are going back and forth. Her due date is staring at us from the calendar–next week!–and there doesn’t seem to be a “DELAY THIS WHOLE THING” button I can press to slow things down.

Sometimes I cry, sometimes I hug myself with joy.

We assembled the Pak N’ Play in our bedroom on Tuesday, which is where Alice will spend the first few weeks of her life. It has a bassinet insert that’s pretty much at the level of our bed, and we think that will facilitate night time nursing since I won’t even have to get up to gather the wee one when she’s hungry. Now, every time I go into our bedroom there’s a little reminder that we’re about to gain a tiny (and permanent) roommate.

Hopes and dreams: I hope she’s snuggly! And ever since the ultrasound tech last week told me that she has hair, I have been fantasizing about touching her fuzzy little head and stroking the oh-so-soft nape of her neck. Baby heads–they’re just screaming to be caressed and sniffed constantly, aren’t they?

What I miss: At the moment, I miss having what felt like plenty of time before me until motherhood was going to hit. The closer it gets, the more emotional I feel, for better and for worse. I’m trying to trust, to relax, to take each day as it comes–but the tears always seem to be right there, ready to start flowing at any moment.

What I’m looking forward to: In a weird way, labor. We’ve put thought into it, heard so many peoples’ stories, and know it’s coming–so I’m looking forward to having the experience. To grappling with the struggles, forging through the lows and riding the highs.

Just don’t fling these words back at me when I’m in the middle of a big contraction. Deal?

Husband update: Like I said earlier, the emotions are getting more intense and are much more up and down than ever before. One moment, we’re both standing at the door to Alice’s room, gazing at the crib and feeling exuberantly happy, with “I can’t wait!” expressions on our faces. The next moment, I’m in tears and we’re asking ourselves, “Can we actually handle this? Is our life just going to become full of uncontrollable chaos? Will our life still be peaceful? Will we still look forward to coming home?”

I just need to keep going back to God and his promises. The fruits of the Spirit–which include joy and peace–don’t disappear when you have kids. They are for everyone, for every time in our lives–even for new parents with colicky newborns who are up at all hours of the night. With God, there’s a way to live even that dreaded experience in fullness of joy and peace. Unbelievable, right?

Have a good weekend everyone! We’ll be over here, trying to stay centered on the truth as the emotions ebb and flow.

38 Weeks

How far along: 38 weeks, completed 09/25/2012.

Weight gain: 1 pound! Up to 151 lbs, for a total pregnancy gain of 18 lbs.

In terms of little Alice, I had that ultrasound to check her growth on Tuesday, and she’s weighing 6 lbs 5oz and looking great! Though her head isn’t engaged yet, she’s “way down there” (according to the tech) and has hair. I saw the fuzz. And I got to see her little face, with her precious mouth opening and closing, which made me burst into tears. She looks so different than the last ultrasound (when she was slightly frightening-looking and skeletal). I’m happy to say that she’s much fatter and baby-like. Her fingers look pudgy, and her face is the most precious thing I’ve ever seen.

Clothes: Though I love the cooler weather, it’s made me realize I don’t really have that many warm maternity clothing options. I have one pair of jeans that fits comfortably at this point, and then it’s mostly tank tops and summer dresses. Ah well. Two or so more weeks of more boring outfit combinations won’t kill me . . . I guess.

Purchases: We have mostly packed the hospital bag, and bought some snacks like beef jerky, Fig Newtons, and trail mix which are in there and ready to go. Gotta keep that husband energized so that he can stick with me however long it takes! I’ve also warned him not to breathe on me with beef jerky breath–that stuff smells nasty.

Body: Nothing terribly new to say here–still feeling good.

Sleep: Great!! I feel like this always happens when the weather turns–I start sleeping even better. There’s something about feeling slightly chilly and then snuggling down under blankets that just makes entering dreamland all the sweeter.

Best moment(s) of the week: Over the weekend, my husband and I worked on a playlist and burned two CDs to bring with us to the hospital. I wanted something rhythmic and meditative, kind of like what my yoga teacher used to play, and I think we have it. Now, I’m practicing relaxation while listening to those tracks so that when the music starts playing my body will recognize the signs “it’s time to let go.” Practicing relaxation has been really enjoyable. I dim the lights, settle back on the bed, press ‘play’ and take myself somewhere else in my mind. I’ve started associating different songs with different mental landscapes–a windy beach. A walk along a rocky coast. A walk along a curving beach with a white town in the distance. There’s a scene I’ve been working on in my mind which involves climbing up a diving board and then jumping into the cool water. I’ve worked out all kinds of textural and sensory details–the feeling of the rough diving board under my feet. Curling my toes around the edge. The feeling of the sun on my shoulders. The smell of the warm breeze (orange groves!). The welcoming glare in my eyes, and that orange warmth on the eyelids when you close your eyes and turn your head towards the sun. I can take myself there easily in this painless state, and I hope that practice will help me go there even when there is pain. I had forgotten how powerful the mind can be, and I’m enjoying exercising my imagination and going to these beautiful, calming places that I can construct into whatever I want.

Movement: Same as usual–stretches and squirms. She still hasn’t dropped, and I’m eagerly awaiting that moment as the next milestone.

Food cravings/aversions: Green bananas–all the time. Sometimes with peanut butter. Around dinner time, I go wild for a banana and a peanut butter and honey sandwich. Wild, I tell you!!

I’ve also been trying to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Especially in preparation for the ultrasound (I didn’t want to risk having low amniotic fluid and having someone suggest induction), I drank so much water it was unbelievable. And good hydration is important for good laboring, so I shouldn’t stop now.

Symptoms: If I have a big lunch, I’m usually not in the mood for much dinner. Quarters seem to be getting a little more cramped, which cuts off the feeling of hunger.

Emotions: So! My youngest sister Heidi had her second baby boy, Liam Peter, one week ago! I’m purloining these pictures of the happy family from facebook, as I don’t think I’d be allowed to pop on a plane to Alaska at this point to photograph them myself . . .

(though with my patented belly disappearing act, maybe I could sneak through security after all?)

I can’t believe James is now an older brother. His expression here could say any number of things . . .

. . . but at least it’s not the outright grimace I had in reaction to my sister Erica’s appearance on the scene.

Heidi was able to have an awesome, drug-free water birth and loved the experience. She called me only an hour or two after delivering and, to my amazement, sounded exactly like herself. Isn’t she supposed to be, you know, all weird and out of it? I wondered. Is it possible to sound so normal and energetic right after giving birth?

Well, apparently that’s the magic of the drug-free shebang. Which I hope I can do . . . but we’ll see.

We skyped with them the next day and “met” the little guy. He has the cutest, scruntchiest little face! And the cutest, scruntchiest little limbs!

I think I want one.

Hopes and dreams: I really hope I’ll be able to get into the mental zone necessary to deal with birth pains. I heard that it helps to think of the contractions as your body tightening into an embrace around your baby. As something good, and not just a trial to get through as quickly as possible. I’m trying to think this way every time I get an uncomfortable or painful Braxton-Hicks contraction, even though I know these are nothing compared to what’s to come.

What I miss: Brie! I could really go for some nice, ripe cheese right now. And don’t even talk to me about baked brie, encased in puff pastry, with some jam . . . But I won’t dwell on it. I must forge ahead, be a good girl, and stick to goat cheese for the time being.

And this is totally not pregnancy related, but I’ve actually been missing our old neighborhood a bit. Okay, not the loiterers and drug deals and gunshots–but the nearness of the lake. Popping downstairs for a spontaneous walk on the beach was wonderful, and now even the 5-7 bus ride it would take to get there makes it feel oh-so-distant.

Husband update: In terms of his impending fatherhood, he seems as even keel as ever. Over the weekend we had a great conversation about what kind of things from our years growing up were important, and which of those lessons we particularly want to make sure Alice learns. It’s been delightful just . . . talking. Our new favorite place for these long and lovely heart-to-hearts is our bedroom, after it gets dark, with the light on the dimmer. We can just lie there in the peaceful, beautiful space and dream out loud for as long as we want. This is exactly what I hoped our bedroom would become before having children: a haven for us, for our marriage, and for our intimate conversations.

Have a great weekend, everyone!